Deep Down We're All Some Kind of Crazy
by The Power of Goodbye
Summary: Harleen Quinzel is barley an intern at Elizabeth Arkum's Asylum for the Criminally Insane when she meets Steve Rogers, by the time they meet again Harleen Quinzel doesn't exists anymore and all Steve seems to want to do is save the women who doesn't want to be saved.


**Author's Note: Ok so this story was a pain in the ass to write but I think it was worth it. I started this back in October and kept going back and forth between abandoning it, losing it, and being obsessed with it so if it reads that was I apologize in advance. I own nothing. Even though I wouldn't mind owning Steve Rogers and being Harley Quinn I'm not and I own nothing but this plot. Dedicated to my friend Elizabeth, you are an angel and I can never thank you enough for all of your support with this and all of my other stories.**

* * *

_That's what makes us so great… I'm crazy. You're crazy. Together we make our own brand of crazy- Nicole Williams._

_…._

_….._

_….._

Harleen was barely a resident at The Elizabeth Arkhum Asylum for the Criminally Insane when she watched them wheel in the frozen man. All over the country the only thing people could seem to talk about was Steve Rogers, the famous Captain America, being pulled out of the ice in the Arctic. So how could Harleen possibly resist inserting herself into the team of doctors observing this mysterious man? Something she would one day tell her children about, children with black hair and large smiles. And truthfully he intrigued her, maybe even more than Mr. Jay did (not that she would ever tell him that), without even opening his eyes. She could get excited just thinking about everything he must have seen and done back in his time. Things that she would only ever be able to read about. And she couldn't help but thinking of how many girls, err dames; he had gotten with that blonde hair and those full lips. Yes, very intriguing.

_….._

_….._

_…._

_The Future haunts with memories that I could never have._

_….._

_…._

_…._

_"_Are you an angel?"

Steve Rogers was dead. He knew that. The plane had gone into the water, he couldn't survive that, even in his new condition. So when his eyes opened to a bright white light there was no other explanation. Meaning the beautiful woman above him had to be his angel.

"Not even close honey!"

The angel was laughing and his head still felt funny.

"You're in a…well I guess you could call it a hospital. I'm Doctor Quinzel."

"Doctor? Where am I? Where are Peggy and the Lieutenant?"

Steve didn't think it was possible to feel this confused, well until Dr. Quinzel's eyes pooled with concern. She had beautiful eyes.

"Where they on the plane too?"

"No! No they were back at the Hydra facility. Why hasn't someone called them?"

"You've been asleep for a long time Captain…"

…

…..

….

_A drink in your hand, there's a tear on your face; you're a beautiful woman so out-of-place._

_…_

_….._

_….._

Harleen can't help but visit him. She visits him almost every day, even after they allow him to leave Arkhum with a clean bill of health. She visits him just as much as she does Mr. Jay (well almost as much, but still.) He may just be the sweetest man she has ever met

He wouldn't stop calling her Dr. Quinzel for a week and even now he is just starting to call her Harleen. Before she met Steve she was beginning to think that all men hit (Steve saw the bruises on her neck once, she said it was nothing. It was just a bad patient.) Meanwhile Steve wouldn't even curse in front of her. He would ask her about the present and she would explain as best she could and if even got too much he would ask about her and listened intently. But he never cried, at least not in front of Harleen. She knew they couldn't stay this way forever though. Mr. Jay wouldn't like it.

….

….

…

_Hope is just a stranger, wondering how it got so bad_

_…_

_…_

_…_

Steve hates this time. It was like the world had opened up and dropped out all of its morals only to throw him back in to deal with all the corruption and evil. Everyone and everything that he used to love and find comfort in was gone, even Peggy (He never did get to apologize for missing their date, he wasn't even sure if dance halls excised anymore.). But as of lately Steve had found some small comfort in his former doctor/angelic woman; Harleen Quinzel. She would come to his new SHEILD provided apartment and visit him as much as she could. She would ask him about his past and he would answer her until it became too much. And that's when he would ask her all about herself and the present. He did like that, he liked her. But there was something off about Harleen Quinzel. But that was something he couldn't bring himself to think too much about because there was no way that his only friend could be one of the bad guys. But if it was too late at night to call or if he simply couldn't find Harleen when things got hard, when the nightmares happen, he would go to the gym. The gym SHEILD had set him up with looked exactly like it had come out of 1943. Right down to the boxing ring in the middle. It was his favorite place in the city, which is probably how Fury knew where to find him. He said that they needed him and Steve was still a solider, so he knew that he had a responsibility to help. But he couldn't possibly leave without telling Harleen. He worried about her sometimes (After all even Steve could tell that she wasn't stable.) But nothing could have readied him for what he found when he located her.

Her blonde hair was twisting chaotically in the breeze on the roof of Arkhum Asylum, her blouse was unbuttoned far too much to have been meant casually, and her eye makeup was smeared making her look like a raccoon. His first though was that she had been attacked by a patient, until she started laughing loudly and manicaly.

Like a crazy woman.

"Harleen…are you alright?"

She looked at him like he had said something funny, or as if he hadn't spoken at all.

"Steve! Stevie, Stevie, Stevie! I'm better than fine I'm perfect!"

"You look like someone attacked you? Maybe I should get you inside; it's pretty cold out here."

He reached for her gently like she was an animal that would bolt if he wasn't carefully. And honestly he was getting scarred now, especially when she flinched away from his touch. Like he had hit her.

"I can't leave. I have to stay, he's expecting me!"

"Who's expecting you Harleen?"

"Mr. Jay is silly!"

"Harleen…"

"Call me Harley!"

She threw her arms around his neck and planted her lips against his firmly with an unexpected force. Steve's arms flew to her waist on instinct keeping her from falling. Though he still not quite comprehending what was happening other than the feel of soft feminine lips on his own and the crazed blonde in his arms, whom he wouldn't see again for six months.

…

…

…

_My heart, my life, will never be the same._

_…_

_…_

_…_

Harleen loved her new life. She loved her new look, she loved her babies, and she loves the chaos. But she had to admit, she hated the way her puddin's eyes got even darker when she screwed something up and she hated the way he treated her afterwards. Even though she knew it was her own fault. Doctorate or not, she was an idiot. Even though Red always tells her otherwise and would always push Harley to leave Mr. Jay after he kicked her out, or kicked her in the rips. "There's got to be a sweet guy out there for you! One who doesn't hit when a job goes south!" She would push. But what Ivy didn't know was that Harley had already found him. Well more like Harleen had already met him. And the newspaper clippings about him lined the walls of her room where she knew Mr. Jay would never bother to come in and look. It was too bad that the right guy was just on the wrong side.

…

…

…

_I've done everything to drown this hurt inside, but I can't wash you off of my mind._

_…_

_…_

_…_

Steve was starting to think that this new time wasn't all bad. He loved his bike, he loved the food, and he loved his team. He still misses his own time though, the 40s. He still misses the small cold apartment that he and Bucky shared, he still misses those awkward double dates that Bucky would set up for them, he even missed the sound of Peggy's soft warm voice. But most of all he misses having a cause, a future. And lately he has found himself missing a certain blonde psychiatrist and her soft feminine lips. And right now it was that very same psychiatrist who was occupying his mind as he stood awkwardly in the corner of Pepper's birthday party. He was sure he was the only one feeling awkward though. Tony's parties were never his cup of tea. It made him envy Bruce who was doing some volunteer work in Kenya and Thor who was on Asgard meeting with his father. With a quick look around the room he could see Pepper dancing with Tony, and Phil and Natasha were at the bar, already drunk. He noticed that at this point _all _of the party guest were happily, giddily drunk and decided _why not at least try to join them_ and headed for the bar. He was three drinks in to his attempts to join in the party when the music was suddenly cut.

"Hey come on James what are you-"Tony's harsh words directed at his confused DJ were cut off by a bought of laughter. Manic laughter that reminded Steve of a clown. The door was busted down before anyone could move and six men in clown mask strolled in as casually as if they had been invited, each one with a machine gun over their shoulder and smaller hand guns hanging from their belts. A man entered behind them, unarmed and unmasked. But his face was painted in clown makeup, with red lipstick tracing horrifying (and identifying) scars. Steve could feel Natasha and Clint move to stand next to him but his eyes never left their newest party guest, or his scars.

"Evening Mr. Stark! Quiet a lovely party you have here!"

Tony was unmistakably tense as he stood in front of Pepper but his face was masked by a smirk.

"Yes, it is. One you weren't invited to. So if you and the circus wouldn't mind rolling out-"

Tony was cut off by a quick, backhanded slap to the face by the clown.

"Now listen here ladies and gentlemen, this is a simple robbery. No one has to get hurt if you just cooperate. If not you die! Simple as that." The Joker had been turning to face the other guest as he spoke and when he turned back to Tony all traces of his former smirk was gone. "Oh you really shouldn't have done that."

"Really and why is that Mr. Stark?" His laughter was cut off by a silver serving tray, thrown like a shield, knocking the long knife out of his hand.

"What, what was that?!" His laughter returned as Steve yelled out loudly in his Captain's voice.

"Avengers Assemble!"

A full blow panic broke out as the fighting began. Frightened guest fled as Pepper tried in vain to usher them out, Clint and Natasha were both engaged in hand to hand combat, and somehow Tony had managed to get his suit on and throw Steve his proper shield. And Captain America was heading in the direction of the scared clown. That is until a previously unnoticed female gesture jumped in front of him, blocking his path. Steve stopped dead in his track as he took in his new opponent. Her suit was a full body red and black jumpsuit and her hair was hidden by a black gesture hat that revealed only her pure white skin and beautiful blue eyes. He couldn't help but be mesmerized by those eyes for a moment. She broke him out of his trance with a swift punch to the face. They fought smoothly, as if they were dancing, as if they were born to fight each other.

"Who are you?!" Steve shouted in her face as he pushed his shield against the force of her hammer with some difficulty. _Her eyes flicker when she smiles_ he notes before her lips are suddenly planted on his firmly. His mind went blank at the feeling, and he couldn't quite comprehend what was happening. He couldn't quite comprehend anything except for the feeling of soft feminine lips. Strikingly familiar, soft feminine lips that he had felt once before. And then all at once his mind went into overdrive as she pulled back with that angelic Harleen smile, not a sinister gestures smirk.

"Harleen?"

He barely had time to catch her in his arms as Iron Man's blast struck her in the head.

_…_

_…_

_…_

_Remember when I told you I was never goanna stop, lovin you with all my heart and soul no matter what._

_…_

_…._

_…_

Harley winced a little, quickly turning it into a giggle as the officer tightened the cuffs around her wrist. She was quickly shuffled to an awaiting squad car, designated for Arkhum Asylum once more. She counted silently in her head as she walked forward, knowing that one more thing had to happen first.

_One…two….three…_"Harleen!"

Harley was smirking as the officer forced her into the squad car, leaving the door open for everyone's favorite Captain.

"Hello Captain Rogers."

Those big blue eyes held so much confusion and pain as they looked at her. It stirred something in her, something that she hadn't felt in a long time. Something she wasn't even sure that she could feel anymore…whatever it was.

"Harleen…What happened to you?"

Harley's smirk turned into a smile. A manic toothy one.

"I met someone Stevie!"

"Who, Harleen? Who made you…become this way?"

Harleen stayed silent as she watched the wheels turning behind those baby blue eyes she had missed so much, newspapers never print his picture in color, and as if a light had been switched on.

"Mr. Jay…"

She giggled again

"Harleen, what did he do to you?"

He sounded so scared that she couldn't help but reach forward and stroke his soft milky skin with her cuffed hands "Oh Stevie…"

He reached up and clutched her hands like a lifeline.

"Call me Harley."

The sounds of her giggles were still ringing in his ears as the red and blue lights faded away.

…

…

…

_Whoever it was that made you so blue never deserved a women like you._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_'What did Harleen see in him?' _

Steve wasn't sure why he had come out here. He wasn't sure what it was that made him need to understand how a man like that could get his hooks so deep into a woman like Harleen.

Unbalanced or not.

There were six inches of bullet proof glass separating him from the clown, one way glass at that. But Steve still felt like those dark eyes were piercing his soul. He tried imagining those eyes looking at Harleen as he sweet-talked her. He tried imagining what he possibly could have said, what he possibly could have done to manipulate her. To make her commit a crime, something that up until three hours ago he had been so sure that she never would never do willingly. His angelic blonde doctor, the one thing that had kept him sane all those months ago.

"You're wrong you know."

Steve was startled by the Joker speaking up. He hadn't realized that his fist were clenched.

"She's not so innocent. Not by a long shot, despite what you may think Captain." Steve's blood ran cold. How did he know that Steve was there? Did he really know?

"Maybe a little, at one point but by the time I got my hands on her. Well that girl was gone. She's even got a new birthday now!"

Steve looked down to find blood running down from his palms.

"You see Captain, you don't know her, the real her that is. Not like I do. You don't know the kinds of things that go on in her mind. All the twisted thoughts. Does that bother you Captain? That me, a criminal lunatic, knows her better than you do."

Steve's head was starting to hurt and it felt like something had cracked in his hand.

"She's certainly no angel."

A deep chuckle chased him out of the room leaving Steve feeling so confused he couldn't help but think '_Was tonight even real.'_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark, same old empty feeling in your heart, cause love comes slow and it goes so fast._

_…_

_…._

_…_

It was all too real. Sitting here in a tiny room with a glass window separating him from the patients of the criminally insane ward of Arkhum Asylum it all felt far too real. Criminally insane. How could they call a girl like his Harleen criminally insane? That was the thing though; she's not _his _Harleen anymore. She's _something_ else. Something he doesn't want to know or recognize as his angel.

He shouldn't be here.

He had been telling himself this with every step he took into the room. He dosnt want to see her looking like a criminal. Locked up with the very people she used to treat. But he never could help but visit her. So he swallowed down the bile that was rising in his throat and tried to push away the feeling that the walls were closing in on him as he watched her being led towards him by two burley men, with handcuffs inclosing her tiny wrist. She smiles when she sees him and for a few brief seconds it's like she's his beautiful Harleen again. But then then he notices that her face is still painted in clown makeup and there are red slightly bloody claw marks showing from underneath it. And just like that Harleen's gone and this _thing_, Harley, sits in her place across from him.

"I knew you'd come Stevie!" She's smiling at him like last night never happened. Like he hasn't seen her police record. Like he didn't know everything she's done. Like he doesn't know all of the people she has killed. But for reasons he doesn't understand, or at least didn't want to think about, he has to fight not to smile back at her. It's not the first time that he's cursed the effect she has on him.

"What's wrong honey? Aren't you happy to see me? It's been a long time, six months tomorrow!" She exclaims likes she proud that she knew exactly how long it had been since they had seen each other. He has to purse his lips. "I saw the reports Harleen. I know, about everything. "She doesn't look surprised to hear this, but she does look upset.

"What happened to you Harleen? How did you get this way."

She shook her head at him, as if he was the crazy one.

"You know I asked myself that same thing once. But ive realized that, ive always been this way."

He shook his head franticly.

"No, no you weren't Harleen. The girl I knew back in Gotham-"

"The girl you met back in Gotham was a lie Steve! The girl you met was trying so hard to be _normal, _studying killers and psychos because they fascinated her, because she understood the way they thought, running away with the worst of them because he enamored her."

Steve closed his eyes tight enough to see starts and took a deep forced breath through his nostrils.

"The Joker."

It wasn't a question but Harleen responded anyway.

"The one in the same."

"He's crazy."

"He's my Puddin."

"He's a monster!"

"He gave me everything!"

"He's goanna get you killed, he's making you kill for him!"

"He _stayed_ with me!"

"He made you a monster Harleen-"

"Stop calling me that!" She looked him dead in the eye as she cut him off with an explosion of anger. She just wanted him to understand. "It's Harley Steve, Harley! Harleen is dead! Harleen. Is. Dead!"

And just like that his anger steadied, still there but at a lower point. His heightened senses made him aware that security was moving in on them but his eyes remained locked onto hers.

"Harleen is dead. She killed herself. But I'm Harley now and I love it. I'm not proud of everything I've done but hey most of them deserved it anyway."

He stared her down but inside, inside it felt like his heart was crumbling.

"How can you say that? They were people. A lot of them with families."

Her gaze was ice cold as it stared into his.

"Ya and a lot of 'em were thieves, murderers, even rapist. They weren't innocent in all of this. I'm not saying that I am either, but I'll be dammed if I let you call any of them innocent."

She sighed when his hard gaze never softened.

"All of those men you killed that were Hydra. Did you ever stop to think about how they saw you? About the fact that they might have families and friends waiting on them back home? Little psychotic and racist children."

His refusal to meet her eyes was answer enough.

"That's what I thought." She stood up as the guards grabbed her to escort her back to her cell. He watched as she was led in the direction of the door and stopped suddenly at the thresh hold and turned. "You may hate Harley now, but she loves you just as much as Harleen did."

He stared at the door she had just been led through in shock and all at once it was like he couldn't breathe. She was right, he hadn't thought about those men's lives. Not once. All he saw them as were mindless Hydra robots, his enemy's, the bad guys. But to them _he_ had been the bad guy, he was the one killing their teammates. He thought about how he would feel, what he would do, if someone had killed one of his team. Maybe he understood Harley better than he thought.

He threw up.

_…_

_…_

_…_

_The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off._

_…_

_…_

_…_

"Oh come on you can do better than that!"

The Joker was laughing like a maniac as Steve threw him to the floor, covered in his own blood. Steve pulled out his gun and put it the Joker's head. The gun that they had taken off of the ship with him when they had found him frozen in ice, the one he hadn't touched since 1945.

'_I haven't had a reason to until now'_ he thought bitterly.

His self-hatred after Harleen left him had quickly turned to fear, which as he analyzed it quickly turned to anger. So here he was, in the Joker's cell.

His hands were shaking, his entire body hurt, and he just wanted the Joker to _stop _laughing!

He cocked the gun. But before he could squeeze the trigger a firm hand squeezed his shoulder. He turned expecting to Tony or a guard_. _But instead, standing there in front of him was James Buchanan Barnes. Looking the same as he had the day that he had died. Right down to the blood. He was shaking his head at Steve like he was disappointed. It was the same look he had given Steve when Steve got his arm broken fighting when they were kids. Steve looked at the Joker, whose lips were moving even though Steve had no idea what he was saying, back to Bucky, then back to the Joker. When he turned back Bucky was gone and he was suddenly aware of the Joker trying to bate him.

"Come on do it already! Shoot me, Captain! Show the world who the bad guys really are!"

His chants were burning in his ears as Steve bolted out the door. Maybe he understood this Harley girl more than he thought. More than he wanted to admit.

_…_

_…_

_…_

_Hide your craziness behind a beautiful smile._

_…_

_…_

_…_

He was drinking coffee in the kitchen the next morning when Tony comes running in ranting about "Idiot guards," and "Damn Arkhum," and "You'd think they'd know better." And then he slammed a newspaper down onto the counter. There staring back at him was Harleen's mug shot, right under the words "_Dangerous Fugitive Escapes Arkhum Asylum Once More."_

Steve hides his smile behind the mug.

_…_

_…_

_…_

_If you ever loved me please have some mercy on me._

_…_

_…_

_…_

His palms are sweating and his eyes are twitching behind his helmet. Tony had insisted on tracking her down. Tony considered her a dangerous killer that had endangered his girl and his friends. A dangerous killer who he was hell bent on finding. And despite Steve's best efforts he had. And so here they were. Surrounding the roof of a freak show in New Jersey where Harleen was laid out relaxing.

"Captain what are your orders?"

Steve could hear Natasha's voice in his ear but he didn't move out of fear that if he opened his mouth he could yell out for the beautiful and pail blonde.

"Captain what are your orders? Captain?"

Clint's voice rang out to him. He opened his mouth but all that came out was a chocked breath.

"Oh screw this, move it in guys!"

Stark's voice was annoyed and rushed as it sent everyone but Steve into motion. He stood back and watched as Harleen jumped up in surprise and ran for her hammer only to be grabbed by Natasha and slugged.

That got Steve moving.

With every punch thrown and maneuver used his feet carried him closer. But he still didn't intervene. A part of him, the rational part, held him back. That is until Harleen's eyes landed on him. Those beautiful blue eyes were filled with panic as they bore into him.

"Stevie, please help me! Please!"

And just as if something snapped inside of him, Steve flew at Agent Romanoff. He pulled her off of Harleen and slammed her face into the railing of the roof three times rendering her unconscious. A set of hands grabbed his shoulders tightly and he turned, smashing Agent Barton in the head with his shield. As soon as they were down he rushed to Harleen's side and grabbed her up, pulling her to him. He didn't take the time to dwell on her injuries as he began to pull her towards the door. That is, until a buzzing sound pulled him back to reality. When he looked up his eyes met Stark's. He had his blaster fired up and was pointing it directly at the young couple. His helmet's mask was flipped up and his brown eyes were boring into Steve like he was trying to read him. Steve held Harleen to him even tighter, if that was possible, and silently begged Tony. After what felt like an eternity Tony lowered his arm without a word.

_…._

_…_

_…_

_Just don't tell them I've gone crazy._

_…_

_…_

_…_

When asked about it Tony would deny letting them escape. But as he was standing there, staring into Steve's eyes he saw something. Something he had seen in only the most dangerous of killers. Madness. So he let them go. Because it scarred him. Because if it could happen to Captain _freaking _America, then it could happen to anyone

…

…

…

_I'm never going back; the past is in the past._

_…_

_…_

_…_

They go to an old warehouse that Harley knows when they get away. She grabbed him by the hand and doesn't stop until they're in a back room that's half painted red and half wallpapered with newspaper clippings. She spinning around with her arms out, screeching and giggling in happiness even though she's covered in blood and bruises and they're both wanted criminals now. But his smile matched hers when she stops to look at him and it doesn't seem to matter right now.

"I saved them all, every last one of them. I was so proud."

He is confused at first but upon further inspection he realizes that the newspaper clippings that she had lined the walls with were all about the Avengers, all about him. His smile grew even wider as a warm feeling spread through his chest. He grabbed her smaller hands in his and pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her waist. She looked into his eyes lovingly, like he was her everything, and stroked his cheek gently like she had done back at Arkhum.

"I love you Stevie."

He grinned and chuckled lightly.

"I love you too Harley."

He smashed his lips against hers and relished in the noise she made. Suddenly his head didn't hurt anymore. Standing there in the back room of an abandoned warehouse, kissing a criminal lunatic, wanted himself by the authorities he will never feel sane again and it's all her fault. He loves her anyway.

_…_

_…_

_…_

_Sometimes there's no cure for the crazy…I think we all just have to love through it. Maybe that's the cure-Emma Rollins_

* * *

**_Ok! So it's finaly over! Thank you to everyone who read the entire think, I know it was incredibly long but hopefully you thought it was worth it. I started this story back in October and actually lost it for a while and then when I found it I went back and forth with the idea of abandoning it before I decided that there was just not enough Steve/Harley stories in the world and I was just to proud of it not to finish it. It is pretty cool that I finished it on Friday the 13th though. I must say that writing Steve's descent into madness if one of the hardest things I have ever done simple because I love how pure and good he is in his heart so hopefully you all enjoyed it though while writing Harley was incredibly fun! She is one of the best characters ever done in the DC universe and she tops pretty much all Marvel characters in my opinion. For those of you who didn't get the reference, in the New 52 comics Harley has left Gotham city and owns a building that she rents out to many different companies, a freak show being one of them. So hopefully that makes sence now. The lines that I put in between segments of this story are ment to help with the flow of everything and they kind of act as titles for each individual part and here are the credits for those._**

**_Title- Laura Miller, 1-Nicole Williams, 2- Trading Yesterday, 3-Gary Allen, 4-Trading Yesterday, 5-Trading Yesterday, 6-Gary Allen, 7-Craig Morgan, 8-Gary Allen, 9-Passanger, 10-Gloria Steinman, 11-Paulo Coelho, 12-Jason Aldean, 13-Jason Aldean, 14-Idina Menzel, 15-Emma Rollins._**

**_I own none of those quotes and for the record most of them came from song lyrics that I thought fit and if any of you are wondering where all the Trading Yesterday quotes came from listen to their song Love Song Requiem its really good. Ok so special thanks to anyone who stayed to read all of this crazy mess, hope you enjoyed and feel free to ask me queshtions in a message or in a review._**


End file.
